Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
