this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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