But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Your cock deserves a montage
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
