I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize