You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
