so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
