I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
