Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
