I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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