I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Panties = found
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
