i may or may not be watching the land before time
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
