I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
