i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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