You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
