I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
