to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it hurts more in the daytime
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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