You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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