he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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