erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
