I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i've created a new STD.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize