i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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