I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize