he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
