No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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