she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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