Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
