So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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