Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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