Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize