the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
