hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
