Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
