2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
