Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
