You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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