Can i not drive my cunt home
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
why does every cop we meet know your name?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
