Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
