can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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