It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
