Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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