I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
