You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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