I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
