were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
