I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
