Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
