I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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