our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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