we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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