just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
