Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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