how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
