Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
