Little spoons don't ask big questions
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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