drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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