i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize