Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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