For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
