If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize