508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
