so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
