some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
