Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
