I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
