i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he was CRYING into my vagina
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So much rum. So many feels.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
