just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
