There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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