when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
