why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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