my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
