Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
