you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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