next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
