I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
