fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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